Where did she come from? I'm still trying to find the floor. haha =]

So as of late I've been having a huge self-esteem issue. Weird to think Thomas Conyers with a self-esteem issue. But today I have felt extra low. I told the truth what had changed any why I can't be with you anymore. And I get attacked. And I understand why you did it. Just kinda sucks that I can't tell the truth without hurting someone. Not to mention now said person hates me and I am no longer to go over there from order of mom. She is afraid that my self-esteem thing could be really bad. So here is to a crappy night. To a crappy life. End of self pity rant. haha


Plus side. During all this crazy sadness, I had a fun time.

Thomas Conyers

Weird Weird Weird.... We will see what happens what comes of this. Take things slow. I mean it's the only thing you can do after 5 years.

...

That's right. That is how I'm explianing my weekend as of now. If you are cool you would know what it means. But here is to Sunday and here is to life. For being what is a rollar coaster. Cause just when you feel at your worst. Things turn around. Lets hope Sunday is a turn around. =]

Stay Positive

Well lets see how life is going so far.

Life=boring...
At the moment I've had this dark cloud over my head. I think I lost my mo-jo as they would call it. Who ever they are. Worst part about the whole thing is I don't know what's wrong. So how can I even try to make it better. I just really want my happy self back sometime soon. Cause I really do miss it.

Love Life=
I don't even feel like talking about the mess that is my love life. I really need to get out of this dating pool. I feel like the same girls get passed around in this weird cycle. I met a really cool girl the other day at a bonfire. I mean hit it off right off the bat. At the end of the night I froze when I wanted to ask for her number. Seriously need to get out more.

School Life=
I'm taking all GE classes. I can't even begin to tell you how boring school is right now. I haven't done any of my assignments. I just want to be in my major. I want to be able to show these stupid stuck up kids in the program what got. I just want to see there faces when I beat them at their own game.

Health Life=
Well it only took 18 years but I'm getting chest hair! I know I'm becoming a man. haha With that though I'm also losing my actual hair. Stupid male balding running in my family. My mom wants me to go into see the doctor for a physical cause I've never had one. But I don't see the point in going to see a doctor to have him tell me I need to lose weight. I get I'm fat. Don't need a doctor to tell me.

Career Life=
I've been coming up with new ideas everyday. I need to get some of these things film and edited. So I need actors. haha
I love filming the tc and Jay show. It really is something that will be funny to look back on.
I feel bad cause I feel I'm not putting as much work into the script as Andrew is. And to tell you the truth I'm not. I feel bad cause he works so hard. And I'm so busy with school that when I get actually free time. I don't want to b sitting at home. So for that I am sorry my friend. I'll try harder.
But yeah I want to look up some film festivals and see about entering. I think it would be cool. I know I won't when but to get out there would just be fun.
Also I really want to start acting again. But I don't have the time. =/


Long post. But I guess that is what happens when you don't come on Lj in months. haha
Till the next month

Thomas

Thomas is left standing in the rain. What did she think was going to happen when she told me she kissed him? Well I'll tell you, the same thing that happened when I found out she did. The funny thing is I still want to be her friend. But I know I can't ever trust ever again. I can't even respect the girl anymore. Just once I would enjoy to not be royally fucked by trying to be involved with a girl. Best part about this whole thing is, she doesn't think she is in the wrong and has her side of the story. ha

Well as of now I say forget her. Forget our friendship. And forget me talking to you for awhile. Cause you basically played me.



Oh and I have Jon Perry to thank for all this. I'm sure he is just so happy with the mess he has created. I really do hate that guy. He's is pure evil. True fact.

-Thomas

Someone in my little truth box thing wrote that I would never be famous. Witch kind of a low blow if you ask me. But it really didn't effect me the way I thought it was going to. Cause to tell you the truth no matter how many doors get slammed in my face or how many times I fall down. I going to get my name in lights. I'm going to make movies. I'm going to make an impact on the world. So I guess I know that no matter what I going to achieve my goal.

So it wasn't the words that hurt me. It was the person that sent it. I don't get why she has to be sending me shit that is trying to hurt my feelings. All I'm going to say is she needs to grow up.

Do you ever just hear, see, or read something that makes you sick. But you don't know what to do. Yeah fun week. Hopefully this one will be better. I'm so over being down! Sorry I sucked so bad!


Actually I'm so over a lot of stuff lately. Im so just done with shit for awhile.


People need to let things go
People need to stop being egotistical
Most important people need to grow up

Peace and goodnight

So tonight I saw Rent. Witch was amazing!!! Like such a powerful experience I'm still on like a show high.
I didn't get to meet Adam Pascal my theater idol witch sucked a lot. We were like the first one there to meet everyone and they never came out. So that kind of bummed me out. I just wanted to shake the guys hand and tell him thanks for being my inspiration. But oh well I got to meet man with squeegee and he was awesome. And got to meet Benny who hand a x-box back pack. So I told him to go home and play some damn Halo. He laughed and said that was awesome. haha

The girl looked amazing. I wasn't the only one that noticed either. She got compliments all night from people. She deserved it though she looked beautiful.

Now serious switch:

My dog is dying witch sucks. I've had him around since I was 5. I'm 18 now. They don't know what it is. But they say it's not good. So I not to excited about that.

I thought stuff was all good. But you treat me like the plague. Im not sure why that is. Kind of sucks. =/

I really thought I had found a place that would get my foot in the door. But once again money steps in to stop me. I hate being poor. I know I should be thankful for all the things I have but I mean sometimes it would be nice to have something that I really wanted. =/

I know you blew me off the other night. Funny how you say we should hang and be friends but you lie to me. Fun times. If there is one thing I hate is being lied to. You out of all people should know that.

I want my fucking jacket back. Like Now!!!!!!!!

I hope things get better. I miss the old happy you.

My mom is getting it on and I'm home with nothing to do!!!

End of long post
Goodnight

Hi my name is Thomas and I mess things up.
That's all

=/